


walked with you

by mixtapestar



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Fairy Tale Elements, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-24 00:56:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6135905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mixtapestar/pseuds/mixtapestar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Here, Adam feels lighter. He is aware of his current worries: how he’ll pay for dinner later with the gang, finishing up with the car in the few minutes before his shift is up, what he’ll do about college application fees - but they seem suddenly distant. Like he has all the time in the world."</p>
<p>Adam gets trapped in the dream world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For the trope-bingo prompt AU: fairy tale. Inspired by Sleeping Beauty.
> 
> "I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream."

It all starts with a prick of Adam’s finger. He’s working on a car, trying to get through another day, when the sharp edge of a bolt catches his finger. He curses and brings his hand up to his mouth to stop the bleeding, and in a blink he’s no longer under the car but transported.

When Cabeswater came alive in him, he had expected something like this. Something immediate and inexplicable. Instead, it had been gradual, confusing, and he still struggles each day to reconcile Cabeswater with life as he knew it.

This, though, is something else. He’s sure he’s in Cabeswater, because how many magical forests could there be? Only he doesn’t recognize his surroundings at all, and it doesn’t have the feel of Cabeswater. There, he is still Adam. His hopes and fears press down on him there as much as anywhere; sometimes, the pressure is even more intense than anywhere else.

Here, though, Adam feels lighter. He is aware of his current worries: how he’ll pay for dinner later with the gang, finishing up with the car in the few minutes before his shift is up, what he’ll do about college application fees - but they seem suddenly distant. Like he has all the time in the world.

It's disconcerting to say the least. He almost feels like another person without his anxious thoughts clouding his mind. He's not sure exactly who he is in this place.

He can hear the whispers of the wind through the trees, and he follows the source of the sound, brushing his fingers over leaves and branches as he walks. No matter how far he walks, he doesn't feel tired. When he enters a clearing, he somehow isn’t surprised to find Ronan sitting in front of a fire. Ronan stares straight ahead and trails a branch through the flames, just enough to light it briefly before the wind snuffs it out again.

A twig snaps under Adam’s foot as he slowly steps forward, uncertain whether he should intrude. The whispers trail off suddenly as Ronan’s head snaps up. “Adam?” Ronan says, his voice wavering, betraying a hint of vulnerability. His expression shifts from surprise to skepticism, and the vulnerability has been pushed down when he says, “What are you doing here?”

“I was working,” Adam says nonsensically, glancing at his finger. There’s a tiny spot where he’d nicked it, though it doesn’t seem to be bleeding any longer.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” Ronan says, as if Adam has done something wrong. Suddenly Adam understands his surroundings.

“This is your dream,” he realizes. Somehow he’d expected Ronan’s dreams to be… more. As tumultuous as Ronan himself. From what he’d seen that day in the church, Adam was sure they were always as reckless and dangerous as anything else they did involving Cabeswater.

“I didn’t ask for anything today,” Ronan says, as if reading his mind. Adam panics for a moment at the possibility that Ronan _can_ read his thoughts, his mind immediately snapping to the one thing he doesn’t want Ronan to know. He quashes down the thought as quickly as it comes, trying to focus on something nonsensical - elephants, because why not? - with a wary intensity. Ronan raises his eyebrows as he stands, and Adam is sure, so sure, that he’s onto him. “Why do you suddenly look constipated?” Ronan asks.

Adam is flooded with relief. Of course Ronan can’t read his mind. He shakes himself and moves closer to the fire, closer to Ronan. “What am I doing here?”

“I don’t know,” Ronan says. Adam feels foolish when he remembers Ronan asking him the same thing only a minute ago. Or had it been longer?

Adam reaches out toward Ronan’s shoulder, where Ronan’s tattoo seems to shift underneath the thin cotton of his shirt. He’s not even sure what he's experiencing is real, but when his fingers brush against warm skin as they slide down Ronan’s arm, he definitely feels real.

“Adam,” Ronan says sternly, but when Adam shifts his gaze back up to Ronan’s face, he looks wrecked. Adam’s heart jumps, and he takes a step back before he notices Ronan’s hand, lifted and moving toward his arm, though it drops as soon as Adam moves away.

“I need to get back to work,” Adam says with authority, though he doesn’t feel the truth behind his words. He just wants to feel normal again for a second. None of this feels normal.

“Well fucking go, then,” Ronan says, a hard edge to his voice that feels more normal than it should.

“I don’t know how,” Adam points out as Ronan flops back down on the log by the fire.

“Don’t look at me,” Ronan says. He leaves the branch in the fire longer this time, the edge of it burning and falling into the fire before he pulls the rest of it back out. “Go back out the way you came.”

Adam walks away, more from the desire to get away from Ronan’s petulant attitude than any real faith that he can get himself out of here. He searches for a sharp rock or stick, his journey taking him around for a while until he somehow winds up back at the clearing, and there’s a perfectly pointy rock. He picks it up and jabs at his finger, just where he’d been cut before, but even though a bead of blood rises up, nothing else happens.

At least, not until Ronan jumps up, muttering, “Jesus Christ, Parrish.” He steps up and cradles Adam’s hand in his own. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Trying to go out ‘the way I came in,’” Adam says, annoyed. He jerks his hand away but resists the urge to storm off. He’s pretty sure he’d just wind up back here.

“Jesus,” Ronan says again. He reaches into his pocket with one hand and holds the other out. “At least let me see it.”

With a glare, Adam holds his hand out for Ronan’s inspection. His finger is throbbing now, but it doesn’t really hurt. Ronan somehow has tissues and a bandaid in his pocket. Adam focuses on his heartbeat while Ronan works carefully until Adam’s finger is wrapped up. He doesn’t think about how closely he’s watching Ronan’s intent expression until Ronan glances up and catches him at it. Adam’s breath catches and he glances quickly away.

“So are you gonna talk to me now?” Adam asks, pulling his hand away to cross his arms.

“You’re the one that was in such a rush to get out of here.”

 _Trust me, if I knew a way,_ Adam thinks, but he knows exactly how that conversation would go. Instead, he says, “I don’t know why I’m here. This doesn’t feel like Cabeswater. It doesn’t feel like anything we’ve done before.”

He hears Ronan’s breath catch, this time, but by the time he glances up he’s only able to catch a glimpse of Ronan’s expression before he turns away. He follows Ronan back to the log by the fire.

“Tell me exactly what happened before you got here,” Ronan says. Adam recounts it, adding more details than are probably necessary, but Ronan seems to want to hear all of it.

“I didn’t call you here,” Ronan says, slightly defensive.

“No, you were here a lot longer than me,” Adam agrees. “It had to have been something else.”

Ronan grunts in frustration. “Whatever. Let’s get out of here so I can get you back to work.”

The wind picks back up through the trees, pushing through Adam’s hair as he raises his eyebrows. “Thought that wasn’t your problem.”

“Well your solution seems to involve bloodletting, so pardon me for thinking outside the box.” His hand skims, warm, over Adam’s back until it reaches his waist on the opposite side. The other hand grips Adam’s arm as Ronan says, “Let’s go home.”

The wind picks up further, almost howling through the trees. Adam blinks and turns, half expecting to see something coming from that direction. When he doesn’t, he turns back to find Ronan gone, and the warmth of his touch fading along with the wind.

“Ronan?” Adam says, his voice sounding strangely hollow in the emptiness. He stands up and does a quick check of the forest around him, but Ronan is long gone.

The realization that he’s undoubtedly stuck here sets in, but it doesn't make him panic like it normally would. He feels certain that Ronan will return, eventually, so he heads into the woods to find the source of running water he’d heard when he first arrived.

He goes for a swim once he finds the stream that runs into the lake, then takes some time to explore, trying to find an aspect of the forest that will make him confident this is Cabeswater. Nothing feels certain, though, and he eventually finds his way back to the clearing.

When Ronan returns a few minutes, a few hours later – Adam isn't sure which – Adam has rebuilt the fire. The wind whistles through the trees for a few moments to give Adam some warning, and then between blinks, Ronan is there next to him on the log.

“And what time do you call this?” Adam quips, throwing another twig into the fire. Ronan grips his wrist, his hold firm but not quite crushing. Adam drops his smirk as he sees the uncertainty in Ronan’s expression. “It’s me. I’ve been here the whole time.”

Ronan studies his expression for a moment that seems to stretch into infinity, until finally he breathes out and his grip loosens on Adam’s wrist. He doesn’t let go, though, and Adam doesn’t pull away.

“You’ve been gone for about an hour in the waking world, near as I can tell,” Ronan explains. “I checked everywhere that made sense before I called Gansey and Blue.”

“You didn’t have to pull them into it,” Adam says. He doesn’t want anyone to worry about him. He’s fine. “You knew I was here.”

“Don’t pretend you’re any kind of expert on whatever shit is going on here,” Ronan says with a glare. “Just because you’re here doesn’t mean you’re not there too.”

“Except I’m not,” Adam points out.

“You’re not,” Ronan admits, sounding defeated. He slides his fingers across Adam’s wrist as he finally lets go. He pulls his phone from his pocket, but the time on the display is unreadable. “I played it off like it wasn’t a big deal. Just that we had plans before dinner tonight. But I’m pretty sure they didn’t buy it.”

Adam sighs. “What do we do now?”

“You definitely got here only a few minutes before you found me? You’re sure.”

“Positive.” He’d felt unmoored since arriving here. He’d felt every second until he’d seen Ronan and this place started to make sense.

Ronan asks him questions for a while, and Adam adds other little details and theories as he thinks of them. The main thing Ronan is hung up on is that Adam’s body isn’t waiting back in the waking world. Adam can see that it worries him, though he doesn’t feel the worry himself.

They talk theories and even try a few things unsuccessfully until Adam can tell it’s having a negative effect on Ronan. The two of them lapse into silence, staring into the fire. Adam is out of ideas. “Why don’t you go back and talk to the others about it? I’ll be fine here.”

Ronan sits quietly for a second. Adam wonders what’s going through his mind. “Fine,” he says gruffly. “You want something to keep you occupied? Sky’s the limit.”

“A couple books to read wouldn’t go amiss,” Adam says.

“Nerd,” Ronan says, and in a blink he’s holding out a stack of books Adam’s had his eye on. Adam raises his eyebrows, surprised that Ronan knows his reading tastes, but accepts them gratefully.

He’s read all of them and even gone for another swim by the time Ronan gets back with advice from their friends. Together they try out a few things. Gansey had been sure that Adam needed to communicate with Cabeswater somehow, but Adam can tell even before they try that the connection just isn’t there. Still, Ronan dreams him up some tarot cards, and they give it a shot. Adam’s not surprised when the cards turn over blank.

They run through each idea – even Noah's suggestion that Adam go to sleep and dream himself home – but nothing has any effect. 

“They’re gonna want me to check in again,” Ronan eventually says when they’re out of ideas and just trying ridiculous things. “Blue was gonna call over to 300 Fox Way for their input, if it came to it.”

Adam nods. He doesn’t like everyone worrying about him, but this has gone on long enough, and they really are out of ideas. “You’ll be back?” he asks, staring at the shape he’s drawn into the ground instead of at Ronan.

“I’ll be back,” Ronan assures him, lifting himself up from the ground. He holds out a hand to Adam. His expression is guarded when he says, “Let me just try one more time?”

Adam nods and lets Ronan pull him up. He feels awkward in his own skin as Ronan’s hands skim over his body, never quite landing in one spot. “Just, fucking—” Adam says, frustrated, reaching for Ronan’s arms and wrapping them around his waist. “Okay?”

He glances up at Ronan in time to see him licking his lips. His breath hitches in time to hear the wind howling through the trees again. He circles his arms around Ronan in counterpoint to his touch, and he can almost feel the pull that will bring him back to the waking world. His eyes snap to Ronan’s, and for a second, he’s sure this is going to work.

But then he blinks, and his arms are circled around himself. Ronan is gone.

***

It doesn’t take long after that for Adam to convince himself he’s going to be here a while. He can’t imagine Ronan wanting to come back right after that.

If there’s one thing he’s had here, it’s time. Adam can’t remember the last time he had the luxury of time. What sucks is that he can’t use the extra time to sleep - what would be the point? He doesn’t even feel tired here. No, instead, the time stretches out until the thoughts he’d been carefully avoiding press into him until he has to address them.

Ronan. Petulant, annoying, persistent Ronan. There were so many plans Adam had for himself, and he’d freely admit that Ronan hadn’t been a part of them. But recently he’d found himself considering Ronan when thinking about college. What Ronan would enjoy, where he might be willing to go. More and more he kept imagining his future with Ronan in it.

Adam had been so sure, recently, that Ronan was into him. On his good days, Adam even imagined making a move. That’s as far is it went, though: imagination. Ronan probably enjoyed the idea of him more than anything else. And now, this situation makes Adam doubt Ronan's interest in him even more. Adam is really here, yes. That much he’s certain of. But whatever happens here can be left here if Ronan wills it. Plausible deniability. What better opportunity would Ronan have, if he really did feel that way?

Adam sighs, the sound of it carrying off with the wind. He’s not sure what exactly made him think of Ronan this way. In a warm-hands-wrapped-around-him, I’m-seconds-away-from-kissing-you way. It hadn’t been one solid moment. He’d let his mind trip through the possibilities, keeping it inside where it was safe. He didn’t have any plans to make it a reality. If Ronan really meant it, he’d certainly act on it. Adam could count on Ronan to take action.

Here, though, his imagination could go for days. Even if Ronan turned around and came right back, it would probably feel like at least an hour to Adam. So he finds himself exploring the possibilities. Ronan’s lips, pliant under his. Ronan sprawled out, his back against a tree and his expression inviting because he really does want Adam to touch him, really does want Adam.

He thinks about it until he’s uncomfortable, his hands rubbing absently on the outer thigh of his jeans. He imagines Ronan’s fingers, rough but deft as they haul Adam in, close enough for his fingers to explore even further.

Adam palms his cock through his jeans and bites his lip, letting the image wash over him.

When he can’t take it anymore, he trips his way through the forest to the lake, stripping his clothes off carelessly and jumping into the water that is just warm enough. He treads in just far enough for the water to reach his shoulders and fists his cock, thoughts of Ronan filling his mind. He pictures Ronan, right here, unhesitant and smug as he pulls Adam to him. How different Ronan’s hands would feel than Adam’s. How Ronan’s mouth would hang open, watching him come undone.

It’s this thought that sends Adam over the edge, pushing roughly into his hand as he comes. He swims deeper into the lake after that, treading water and eventually floating there on his back. Things are so much simpler here. He knows that his feelings for Ronan usually weigh him down, but here, they seem limitless. He can’t fully remember why the thought of kissing Ronan worries him so much, back in the waking world.

When Ronan stumbles in a few hours later, Adam is back in the clearing.

“Honey, I’m home,” Ronan says with a toothy grin, calling back to Adam’s words from before.

“Don’t expect a warm dinner,” Adam says. “There doesn’t seem to be any food around here.”

“Or a need to eat,” Ronan says, sitting down next to him. Their knees bump together companionably.

“Any new ideas?”

Ronan sighs. “A few,” he says, but Adam can tell he doesn’t put much stock in them. They wander around the forest, taking a best shot at everyone’s theories, but still nothing makes a difference.

“It’s late,” Ronan says, and it takes Adam a moment to realize Ronan is talking about the waking world, because here it seems to be perpetually twilight. They ease back into their usual spots by the fire, just barely touching. “We probably won’t get anything new from the others until tomorrow.”

“You staying?” Adam asks, doing his best to sound nonchalant.

Ronan leans into him, just slightly. “Want me to?” he asks, as if daring Adam to say yes. As if he doesn’t quite believe the answer _will_ be yes.

Adam cuts his eyes at Ronan. “Beats sitting here by myself,” he says, telegraphing how much he really wants him to stay into it. “You’re gone a lot longer than you think.”

“I brought cards,” Ronan says, pulling them out of his pocket. Adam wonders what else he’s hiding in there.

“I’m not playing poker with you,” Adam says.

They wind up playing War, first off, and then some bastardized version of Gin that Ronan seems to be making up on the spot. An hour into it, Ronan’s got a seven of diamonds stuck to his forehead and Adam can’t stop laughing. Ronan reaches out to squeeze Adam’s wrist, almost absently. It’s not the first time he’s done it.

“I really am here,” Adam says, finally deciding to call him out on it. Ronan’s fingers still rest on his pulse point.

“I know,” Ronan says, glancing off into the distance.

“You keep thinking you dreamt me here,” Adam says.

“Yeah,” Ronan admits readily with a sigh, pulling his hand back. “But I didn’t. We both know you’re really here, and maybe it’s my fault and maybe it isn’t, but you’re here and I can’t get you out.” He swipes the card off his forehead, effectively ending the absurd game.

“It’s not your fault,” Adam says. That much he’s sure of. When Ronan looks like he’s going to argue, Adam speaks louder. “I don’t know if this is Cabeswater or if it’s some other form of the magical bullshit that we can’t seem to escape, but I do know it’s not your fault.”

“I wanted you here,” Ronan mumbles, and Adam has to ask him to repeat it. “I wanted you here,” Ronan says more strongly. “Every time I come here and it’s calm like this,” he scrubs a hand over his head, “I think about bringing you with me. Giving you a moment of peace.”

This time it’s Adam who reaches for Ronan’s wrist.

Ronan’s gaze snaps to his, challenging. Adam holds it, accepting the challenge. The leather on Ronan’s wrist is soft under Adam’s hand, and he can feel the pulse beating beneath it. Slowly, carefully, Ronan following his lead, he stands up.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Parrish?” Ronan says, his voice a rasping whisper.

“Following through,” Adam says, his accent nearly dropping the ‘g’. He tugs at Ronan’s wrist until Ronan stumbles forward into his space. Adam looks up expectantly, warring with the desire to take it from here and the knowledge that he should wait for Ronan’s response.

“This isn’t just a dream, you know,” Ronan says, reaching for Adam’s wrist in counterpoint. “You’re still gonna remember this when we get you out of here.”

“I know.” There had been a time when they could’ve had plausible deniability, but that time had passed. Adam thinks about the point of no return, and how close he and Ronan are standing. He can’t help but think they’ve passed that, too.

And if that’s true, then he might as well take that half-step forward, he thinks. He tilts his head just a few degrees to the left, seeing something spark in Ronan’s eyes as he follows suit and their lips come together in a rush.

Adam’s eyes slide closed as warmth overtakes him. Everything in this moment is Ronan, from his frantic pulse under Adam’s fingers to the fervent press of his lips. Adam lets himself get lost in the kiss for a moment until _something_ happens and he stumbles, confused, and then Ronan is grabbing onto his waist and they land in a heap.

“What the—” Adam says, his eyes flashing open to take in the change in setting. His eyes take a moment to adjust, but then he realizes where he is. Monmouth Manufacturing. Ronan’s bed.

“Jesus fuck,” Ronan mumbles, and Adam recognizes the soreness in his side from where he’d been elbowed going down. “I’m never gonna live this down.”

“What?” Adam says, guarded. He untangles himself from Ronan, sure that this is the moment that Ronan backs away, somehow uses the dream as an excuse now that he realizes his mistake.

Ronan studies him, uncharacteristically quiet, before slowly reaching out for him. Adam settles on the mattress, wary but waiting, as Ronan’s fingers press into his neck lightly, then slide up over his jaw. His other hand moves up to join the first before he draws Adam in for a kiss.

Adam is more sure of himself this time. Here he knows what to expect. He’s comfortably back in his own skin, with his own cares and worries, and still he can give this moment to Ronan. He grabs for Ronan’s shirt, still cool from the forest, and draws him forward. Ronan takes this encouragement and parts his lips, tongue darting forward against Adam’s lips until Adam follows suit. Adam groans into the kiss, completely lost in the moment, but then Ronan pulls away sharply.

“Shit,” Ronan says, and Adam would feel uncertain if not for Ronan’s fingers still pressed tight to his pulse point and Ronan’s expression, completely wrecked. “Fuck,” Ronan says, and for a second Adam thinks he’s going to dive back in, but then they hear the sound of footfalls outside the room, and Adam catches up.

“Gansey,” he realizes, and Ronan nods. Adam moves away quickly, standing up from the bed and almost reaching Ronan’s desk when the doorknob turns and Gansey bursts in.

“It’s called knocking,” Ronan says. Adam nearly laughs looking at him. Moving off the bed feels pretty pointless now. Ronan’s lips are unmistakably kiss-swollen, and his shirt is bunched up beyond explanation. Adam is sure he looks just as obvious.

“You’re back,” Gansey says, focusing on Adam.

“Yeah,” Adam says.

Gansey studies him for a moment, then shifts his focus to Ronan. A sly smile slides onto his face, and Adam feels wary for a moment before Gansey says, “Blue was right.”

Ronan throws a pillow at him. “Get out of here. Go tell your girlfriend we’re all good.”

Delighted, Gansey doesn’t even argue with Ronan’s words. He pulls the door shut behind him, and they can hear the sounds of him cackling down the hallway.

Without a word, Ronan stands and flips over the lock.

“What was Blue right about?” Adam asks, scrubbing a hand through his now-unruly hair.

“Let’s talk about it later,” Ronan says, backing Adam up against the desk and capturing his lips once more. Adam lets him have the moment, let’s _himself_ have the moment, but then he pulls back.

“Tell me.”

Ronan grunts in frustration. His fingers work their way under Adam’s shirt and dance over his warm skin. Adam swallows and tries to focus. “I thought she was making fun of me,” Ronan says.

“Why?”

“She said I should try to wake you up with a kiss,” Ronan says, defeated.

Adam shoves him away, and Ronan steps back like he was expecting it. “I’m not your fucking fairytale princess.”

Ronan holds his hands up. “It wasn’t my idea.”

Adam doesn’t know why it bothers him so much. He guesses it’s the thought of having to be rescued. Also, “Is that why you kissed me? Just testing another theory?”

Ronan looks pained. “If it was, don’t you think I would’ve led with that? Like I said, I thought she was just saying it to piss me off. I wasn’t planning to test the theory.”

Adam pulls at his shirttail absently. He still wants to be angry, but he can’t figure out where to direct his anger. He’s being unfair, he knows. Ronan had definitely kissed him outside of the this-might-save-you scenario.

Ronan sighs and crosses back to his bed.

“Where are you going?” Adam says curtly.

“This is the part where you storm out, right? Now you’re so sure it was all my fault.” Ronan curls onto his side.

Adam sighs and counts to ten in his head. When he’s sure he can keep a level head, he crosses the room and kicks the base of the mattress. “Sit up.”

Ronan does, with a glare. Adam reaches for his shoulders to brace himself and then leans into another kiss, this one more measured and exploratory. Ronan responds immediately, pushing up into the kiss and reaching for Adam’s waist.

“I still don’t think it was your fault,” Adam says. He’s pretty sure, now, that it was Cabeswater. He’d been ignoring the signs, and he should know now that Cabeswater will intervene when he ignores the signs. He just didn’t expect it to intervene in something so personal. “If anything, it was mine.”

Ronan shoots him a skeptical look. Adam sinks down on the bed next to him, thrilling at the way Ronan’s hand rests on his thigh easily. All this time, Ronan was just waiting for permission, he realizes. “I had all the pieces to the puzzle,” Adam admits. “I was just refusing to put them together.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying, I want you. I want... us. And apparently Cabeswater approves.”

Ronan blinks slowly at him, his expression unreadable. Adam doesn’t really notice his grip tightening on his leg at first, not until it’s unmistakable. Ronan’s voice is rough and low when he speaks. “I need you to be sure about this.”

“I’m not just thinking of this for the first time,” Adam says. He tries not to feel offended, because he is just starting to realize Ronan’s feelings for him are not only more than superficial, but also nothing new. “I’ve been wanting this for a while.”

“And what happens when I fuck it up?”

“We’ll probably both fuck it up, now and then,” Adam says. “We’re kind of good at that.” He reaches for Ronan with the hand with the band-aid. “But we’re also kind of good at unfucking things, too, when we try.”

Ronan smirks. "And good at fucking," he adds with a leer.

"Don't ruin the moment, asshole," Adam says, pushing at his shoulder without letting go.

This apparently appeases Ronan enough for now, because he leans into Adam’s touch and shifts forward to bring their lips together. Adam moves his hands to Ronan’s hips, pushing back in what he’s sure will be a continuation of their last interrupted kiss. But Ronan doesn’t push this time. He kisses Adam like he’s only got one chance to send him a message, and this is the only language he knows. Adam isn’t sure he knows the language, but he’s learning. He sinks into the kiss and telegraphs back, _yes_ , _now_ , and _finally_.

This isn’t the end to their story, he knows, but it’s not the beginning either. He can feel the promise of his future with Ronan even as they lean into each other and gasp for breath. He’s still no less certain about what his future entails, but he’s a little bit more prepared to face it now.


	2. Chapter 2

Adam doesn’t ask to go back.

He knows without being told that Ronan is wary of attempting it. Scared that he won’t be able to bring them back. So he doesn’t ask.

But then one night, they maybe accidentally fall asleep in Adam’s too-small-for-this-shit bed, and Adam finds himself back there, in the Cabeswater-that-isn’t.

Ronan is visibly upset. Adam reaches for him, even before he realizes what has happened, but Ronan pulls away, cursing.

Adam lets him trudge off into the forest to be angry. He doesn’t really want to deal with it, if he’s being honest, and Ronan won’t come back until he’s calmed down. The clearing is just as they’d left it, all those weeks ago. The fire has died, of course, so Adam spends some time gathering kindling and setting it up. All it will need is one of the matches Adam is confident Ronan will have in his pocket.

His skin itches with the desire to go for a swim in that perfectly warm lake, now that he has the opportunity, but Adam waits for Ronan. It will be better if he waits for Ronan.

And just as if he’d heard Adam’s call, Ronan appears at the other end of the clearing.

“Are you good?” Adam asks when he approaches.

Ronan lights a match and tosses it onto the pile of sticks without any direction from Adam. It catches instantly.

Adam fits himself against Ronan’s side, looping an arm around his back and leaning into him. Ronan mirrors him without a word.

They stand like that for a while. Adam thinks Ronan needs the quiet, for a minute, and he’s much more content to stay here now that Ronan’s back.

When Ronan eventually sighs, some of the tension going out of him, Adam straightens up. “We should go for a swim.”

Ronan eyes him appreciatively, a glimmer in his eyes. “Yeah, alright.” Adam slips a finger into his belt loop and leads the way.

Ronan pulls off his shirt as soon as the lake is in sight, and Adam slows his pace to watch the movement. Ronan raises his eyebrows. “You wanna swim or you wanna stare at me?”

“Yeah,” Adam says, reaching for his belt loops again and hauling him in for a kiss.

Ronan grunts into the kiss, acting for a second like he’s gonna pull away, but then apparently settling into it. Adam laughs when he catches on to Ronan’s hesitance, effectively ruining the moment. “You know that was only gonna happen once, right?” he says, referring to the kiss that pulled them out of the dream.

“Don’t act like you know what was going on with all that,” Ronan says, shoving him playfully. “It could happen again.”

“It’s not gonna happen again,” Adam says with a smile, shoving back just enough to back Ronan up a step. He yanks his shirt over his head before Ronan can retaliate and then Ronan is on him, wrestling at first, their laughter echoing slightly through the trees. It isn’t long before they’re rolling on the ground, Ronan biting at Adam’s lips, the two of them surging against each other in a whole different way. Ronan licks and bites across Adam’s jaw and down to his neck, and Adam wonders for a moment if a hickey will come back with him to the waking world.

He rolls them over again, pinning Ronan’s wrists above his head and capturing his grin in another scorching kiss. Ronan bucks up against him, no longer trying to flip them around but still pushing, pushing until Adam is mad with it.

It’s a matter of seconds or maybe minutes for Adam to work open the fly of Ronan’s jeans, while Ronan kisses and bites promises into Adam’s skin. When he finally slips his hand into Ronan’s boxers and takes him in hand, Ronan’s mouth falls slack. He goes pliant as Adam pumps him, groaning and tilting up into the touch.

“You’re not putting up much of a fight today,” Adam quips, though he catches himself a bit breathless. He hadn’t anticipated how much a Ronan who completely gave himself over to the moment would affect him.

“What’s there to fight?” Ronan says, his voice light but rough. He reaches for Adam’s hips and slides his hands, warm, over the small of Adam’s back and then down, sliding under the hem of Adam’s jeans to cup his ass. Adam moans before he can stop himself, his hand faltering on Ronan’s cock. He bites at Ronan’s smirk and repositions himself to let his weight fall, the two of them moving languidly against each other for a few minutes.

“We should ditch the pants,” Ronan finally says, his voice a wreck.

“Yeah, worst invention ever,” Adam agrees. He lets himself be led to the lake as they toss their remaining clothing aside. The water is just as warm and comforting as he remembers, and it only seems to add to the sensation when Ronan finally reaches for him and fists his cock.

Adam curses and tries to find a way to push into Ronan’s touch, but it’s not easy in the water. Ronan seems to realize this and pulls him forward. Adam’s legs lift easily underwater to bracket Ronan’s hips, and Ronan holds him up as the two of them push against each other, their cocks sliding together in a glorious friction.

Adam reaches down to fist their cocks together. God, if he had only known this the last time he was here. Little did he know at the time how Ronan really sounded when he came, how he’d twist and writhe under Adam’s touch, resisting giving himself over until he couldn’t anymore. And Adam never would have predicted how attentive Ronan would be, his fingers searching Adam’s body those first few times to find all the places that made Adam gasp and buck. Even now, he’s holding Adam against him with just one arm, his other hand tracing its way down Adam’s back to tease at his hole.

Adam’s breath catches. He’s just glad Ronan’s the one holding him up instead of the reverse. His body can’t decide whether to push back against Ronan’s hand or push forward into his fist.

Ronan keeps at it, though, teasing just enough to drive Adam crazy until his hand moves frantically over their cocks and he comes, a litany of curses on his lips.

“God, Ronan,” Adam manages, after a few moments have passed and his wits are back with him.

“Just Ronan will do,” Ronan says with a smirk.

He unhooks himself from Ronan and treads water for a second, just to make sure his legs are working properly. “Out,” he says, grabbing for Ronan’s wrist and leading him back to the shore.

He pushes Ronan to the ground as soon as they reach it, kisses him thoroughly and then works his way down, biting and kissing across his chest. He teases at Ronan’s thighs for long enough that Ronan starts cursing both him and interestingly specific parts of him, and that’s when he finally slides his lips over the head of Ronan’s cock.

Ronan’s hips jerk toward him as he does his best to sink down. He gets used to the feeling, moving slowly at first, and then picking up the pace. Ronan’s hands are grabbing at the grass on either side of them, a steady stream of reverent expletives coming from his mouth. Adam is getting turned on all over again, just at the sound of him. Ronan is never quite this forthcoming about how good he feels, even though Adam does usually get cues from him when he does something right.

He can tell when Ronan’s close by the shift from steady filthy speech to incoherent grunts. Ronan slips a hand into his hair, not pushing or pulling, and mutters his name just before he comes.

Ronan hauls him up immediately to lick his way into Adam’s mouth. Adam laughs and calls him dirty, and Ronan smirks and owns it proudly. Ronan’s fingers circle Adam’s wrist, and Adam realizes it’s the first time he’s done it since they’ve been here.

“I know the difference now,” Ronan says, catching him staring. Adam feels the weight of his words, and the moment feels thick between him. Ronan smirks and Adam can feel him about to break the tension just before he says, “Dream-you doesn’t smell nearly as bad.”

Adam shoves him back down on the ground, but Ronan anticipates the movement and uses it as leverage to roll them around until he’s got Adam underneath him. He laughs and kisses him again softly. His expression is serious when he speaks again. “I could never dream you up, the way you are. You surprise me too much.”

Adam swallows thickly. “This coming from the most unpredictable dude on the east coast,” he says weakly.

Ronan fixes him with a winning smile. “Well, I try.”

Adam reaches for Ronan’s wrist, mirroring his action. He knows it’s not possible for him to have dreamt Ronan up, and yet. “I keep waiting for you to change your mind.” He feels like he can only say this here. Not because it’s a dream, because he knows that as far as Ronan’s concerned, dreams are more real than anything. But because here, time stretches out infinitely before them, and he knows that Ronan would never leave him here.

Ronan glares at him, annoyed. “Would you cut that shit out? This self-loathing bullshit isn’t going to work on me, you know. I can see through it.”

Adam’s heart hurts for a second, because he’s not making it up. He knows he’s not really good enough for Aglionby, for the half-dozen colleges he wants to apply to, for the life that Gansey and Ronan and all the others seem to have. But he wants to be good enough for Ronan.

Ronan doesn’t let up in his tirade. “The people in your life aren’t just there, you know. Do you know me as the type of person who hangs out with someone just because? Do I really seem that lazy to you?” Adam feels a surge of annoyance, but he doesn’t have an immediate rebuttal. “Jesus Christ, Parrish, you always act like life is such a battle. I’m not with you because it’s convenient, because it sure as hell isn’t.” There it is. That last part, at least, Adam had been expecting to hear. “I had a choice. And I chose you.”

Adam can still feel Ronan’s pulse under his fingers. Ronan’s voice is steady, but his heart is racing, and that tells Adam the rest of the story. “Oh,” he says, realizing.

“I’m not going to change my mind,” Ronan says deliberately.

Fuck. It’s like that, he realizes. He wonders how long he’s been in this without really realizing. “I… I love you too,” Adam manages, his voice wavering.

Ronan rolls his eyes and pulls him in. His kiss is careful, measured, and Adam can feel it thrumming through his whole body. No wonder Ronan was someone whose kiss could bring him alive again.

Ronan’s right. As long as Adam has a choice in this, he’s going to choose Ronan.

THE END


End file.
